Bon Voyage to my Little Angel/Devil

Today my 4 year daughter will be leaving from Shanghai to Anhui Province for  40 days. Although me and the wife will be having some quality time together; I cannot help but miss the little Devil. It is nearing Chinese New Year; so many families head back to their hometowns. My wife's hometown is a small city called Anqing; within Anhui Province. Xena always has fun there with her Grandpa. Me and the wife will be going on our own adventure....To Hawaii...so that ought to be fun....But I will still be thinking of the little devil while having fun.

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15 Songhong Road

Song I’m listening to while writing this:

Survival of the Fittest

MobbDeep- The Infamous (1995)

Today I had to get a medical checkup. I’m sure most of you know the place.  15 SongHong Lu; where you have to trek all the way across town and pay 640 Yuan($108) to be prodded and felt up at the official Westerner zoo.

 

I’m usually desensitized to the rudeness of Shanghai. I’m usually immune to the pointing, staring, laughing, and discrimination I receive on a daily basis. I’m also used to rudeness in general. I’m from the Bronx New York City.  I was raised on West 183^rd Street next to the 4 line (look it up); a place where your life was on the line every day.

 I was a corner boy; the kind of kid smoking blunts with an Old English 800 Malt Liquor 40 ounce in my hand, having a cypher, and doing my thing; waiting around for drama to happen.  I once got robbed for my gold chain at gun point. The retaliation was ill. But even a corner boy will let the elderly go first or give up his seat for a pregnant woman on the bus.

Through the years I got my act together. Eventually you have to grow up. Enter Shanghai. I dare not even try to compare the culture.  I have been here for years and try to make it work. These days I’m a shill at a multinational company.

Let’s back to 15 SongHong Lu. If you are on the verge of some kind of cultural shock mental breakdown, having a bad day or a dude with a hot temper I suggest you go to another city to get your medical checkup.

A few months ago, a fellow blogger Deqing Devil wrote about a terminal patient who got misdiagnosed by a greedy doctor in My First Visit to a Chinese Hospital. The patient ended up returning and stabbing the doctor to death.

By the behavior of some of the medical professionals in Shanghai one can understand why a patient would get angry enough to do this. From my experience there is absolutely no bedside manner in the medical industry, at least in Shanghai.

I was instructed at 8 am to go to building #1. I arrived early to find no personnel there. No notice to tell you where and what to do. A bunch of foreigners and overseas Chinese waited 30 minutes guessing where to stand or sit.

When the receptionist area finally opened up the people that worked there were extremely rude. Didn’t bother to look at your face and didn’t bother to smile. All they did was bark orders in an arrogant tone. This is endemic of typical behavior of civil service workers when they are aware that they have an ounce of authority, especially the women.

When I went in to take my blood pressure this man put some kind of machine on my arm. I was uncomfortable with it because it was unusually tight, to the point where it was capable of breaking my arm; but he kept barking orders to relax. It went like this with almost all the examination rooms, with grim faces and bad attitudes. It was especially rough when I went to draw blood. The lady kept barking at me with this grim expression to extend my arm, even though it was apparent that I hate needles.  

Then when putting my address on an envelope incorrectly one lady spoke to me in way as if I was mentally handicapped. I honestly wanted to take a television that was still plugged in and smash her over the head with it (welcome to prime time bitch!(an ode to Freddy Kruger)). I left 800($130) Yuan lighter with a bad impression on my mind. I left with a feeling that I had just been duped.

I mean if you hate dealing with people so much why did you choose to be a doctor? (well I know you can’t really choose what you want to be in China). In better words, why did you choose a type of job where you have to deal with people all day?   Go to 1500 Mingsheng Lu and run into the same thing; people with too much authority and responsibility that are not trained in soft skills.

The Father Lion

It irks me when people try and force their beliefs on others. For example; you have those who spank their children and those who don’t. Those who don’t spank their children call the people who do spank their children bad parents, or what I read more recently, cowards.  Today I had to spank my 3 year old daughter because my wife chose to go out and get a massage instead of confronting the situation. Before you say 3 years old is too young let me tell you.

My daughter started talking at 6 months. She knew almost every common animal’s name in Chinese and English, her ABC’s and how to count to 10 by 18 months. On top of that it seems that she might be left handed. Currently she can understand about 90% of a Dora cartoon.

In my mind my daughter is incredibly clever and incredibly spoiled. My wife, ayi and mother-in-law constantly hover and rotate around her as if she is a red giant. If my daughter is denied something she will quickly turn into the Tasmanian Devil. Talking her down is useless. You cannot put her in time out. She will scream and shout and writhe till finally one of the three will agree to her demands. None of them believe in spanking but all of them got spanked as children. My wife was physically abused by her father and feels like I am continuing the cycle of abuse. I was physically abused as a child also.

But there is a difference between abusing a child and spanking a child. I regulate my spankings to the bottom, and only once a week if it even permits. I was physically abused as a child to the point where the adopted parent took a cleaver knife off the rack, and had every intention of hacking of limbs. I promised never to lay hands on my children. But it’s different when you are actually in the situation, and become a parent. Am I afraid I will go overboard when I transform into father lion? Of course, and it is that fear that keeps me in the right perspective.

When her tantrums get out of hand I take her with me into a room lock the door, and have a little daddy and daughter time. I call this the detox discipline. I have to do this because if I don’t I will have the three trying to barge in and give my daughter what she demanded. When my daughter sees this she is smart enough to raise the bar.

There are just some children in the world that you don’t need to spank. But depending on many factors there are just some children where you have to use a bit of physical discipline.

I love my daughter with all of my heart, and am quite overprotective of her. Shanghai is not the safest place for raising children.  I just don’t want to see my daughter growing up like the spoilt brats of today that are running China into the ground.

Just because I spank my daughter doesn’t make me a bad father or a coward. I’m the father lion and I want what’s best for my cub.